Shortly after, as my husband was away on a business trip, I traveled with my daughter to visit my mother. One early afternoon, Elisabeth and I went to a diner with my mom, sister and one year old niece. As I was very slow and hesitant at introducing new foods to Elisabeth because she had recently healed from her cleft palate surgery, my mom and sister encouraged me to try giving her some of my niece’s scrambled eggs. After scooping it up with her chubby little fingers, she ate it and took a second bite. I was excited to see that she liked it! Then she tried and enjoyed a tiny piece of my whole wheat toast. The following day, before leaving my mother’s house to drive home, I decided to share scrambled eggs and toast with Elisabeth. I was elated to add two items into her food repertoire. Shortly after lunch, I wanted to get on the road, but concern over one tiny little red dot above Elisabeth’s lip caused my mom to convince us to stay a bit longer. After a half hour, nothing else occurred so Elisabeth and I went on our way. I did not think anything of it. (It was very early into the food allergy epidemic)

Later that week, I was looking forward to my husband arriving home the following day. But, at the same time, I must admit I was appreciating not having to cook a full dinner. Since it was just Elisabeth and I, I thought we could share scrambled eggs and toast for dinner – easy cooking and I could keep the momentum of a new food she liked. Sitting in her high chair, Elisabeth was agreeable to her own portion of scrambled eggs and bits of toast. Shortly after turning around to place some dishes in the sink I looked over at her and saw she was rubbing her left eye which was swelled up and hives were all over her neck. I promptly got in touch with the Pediatrician on call who told me to give her Benadryl for immediate relief. I mentioned to the doctor I did not know whether it was the egg or the wheat that caused my daughter’s reaction. The doctor recommended to avoid both for a few weeks, then only try giving her the wheat and after another couple of weeks introduce back the egg. Though I knew nothing about food allergies or anaphylaxis at the time, I thought to myself, “Are you $&@$ing kidding me?!!”. I knew I was not about to experiment on my baby. That  Monday, I made an appointment with an allergist. It was a turning point that made me realize I needed to be my daughter’s main health advocate and NOT follow doctors blindly.

After skin testing at the allergist, we learned Elisabeth was allergic to eggs, peanuts, walnuts and sesame seeds. We were told to avoid the offending foods, given a prescription for an epinephrine auto-injector and sent on our way. I have a feeling this was your experience with your child’s doctor too. Not. Enough. Information. Shame on them.

I learned through each new experience (sometimes through tears) and was determined to not let Elisabeth’s food allergies stop her from doing anything. Granted, my first introduction to her food allergies was not anaphylaxis, and I am so very grateful. (Thankfully, we did not try anything with peanuts before her diagnosis, as she had anaphylaxis with a cross contact experience a year later.) I am so sorry if you had a much more harrowing time finding out your child has food allergies. It breaks my heart and I’m sending you a giant hug. But I want you to know that armed with knowledge, consistently following safe practices and teaching your child along the way, they can be safe and included while living a full life with food allergies. 

I’ve made plenty of parenting mistakes, as we all do! But I am proud of how I navigate being a food allergy parent. I developed many methods and systems at each age and stage in order to help Elisabeth be safe and included and taught her to do the same. I did a lot of behind the scenes work to try to make things as seamless as possible for her. My daughter is now a strong resilient independent young women who manages her food allergies so well. She was prepared before leaving home and thrives on her own at college. 

After years of figuring out all the ways to greatly minimize my daughter’s risk of being exposed to her allergens and how to keep her included, I developed an e-guidebook for you of what I believe all food allergy moms should know and do. You can buy it here: How to Keep Your Child with Food Allergies Safe and Included at Every Age. (percentage of purchase will go to FAF– funding research of underlying causes of food allergies and how to improve treatment of the millions of people living with them)